Internal Family Systems

What is Internal Family Systems?

Internal Family Systems (IFS) is a model that holds the mind as naturally multiple. We all have different characteristics, qualities, or parts of us that together make up our unique personality. Emotional well-being is supported by an ability to access all our qualities at any given time, allowing them to co-exist. A part that likes to play and have fun could show up at work; a part that likes to plan ahead could create space for unstructured time.

But for many people, a part might become dominant and prevent access to other qualities. A planning part might take on anxiety in trying to prevent something bad from happening. A playful part might act out to get some distraction. We often adopt strategies for avoiding pain or being distracted from suffering, strategies that served us well at one time but may be hurting more than helping now.

With IFS, you come to know all your parts and strategies, meeting yourself with acceptance. Once you understand why you do what you do, it becomes possible to shift – usually by returning to the original hurt and healing it, so that the strategy to avoid pain is no longer necessary. A fundamental principle of IFS is that all of you is welcome.

IFS is an evidence-based approach that has been shown to be effective for improving general functioning and well-being.

How does IFS differ from other kinds of talk therapy?

The experience of Internal Family Systems is a bit different than traditional talk therapy. It is client-centered and non-pathological. I hold you as the expert on yourself. My expertise is as an attuned guide, reflecting you back to yourself as I gently ask questions and make suggestions. A typical session starts with a brief check in, with you sharing anything you want me to know and whether you have an intention or specific challenge you want to explore. I hold space while you look inside, and help you track what’s happening internally. Many clients gain unexpected insights about their history, patterns, and motivations. They start to make sense to themselves in a deep way, allowing for compassion and empathy. This often allows a release of patterns of behavior that no longer serve, without effort. It is more like letting go than forcing a change to happen.

I also draw on Hakomi, a somatic therapy that helps you access your body experiences. This method helps you explore habitual tension, movement patterns or felt experiences, and integrates well with IFS. The Hakomi method increases the ability to be with non-verbal parts. It might look like using a blanket to recreate the experience of being held, or the warmth of your own hand to let a part know that you are listening.