Reflections
Routines and connection
Is your daily routine something you are pushing through to get to somewhere else, and by doing this losing connection with yourself and those you live with? What if you could use your daily routine to build connection? These questions arose while I...
Meeting yourself
It feels so good when someone meets you where you are – no advice giving, no fixing, just allowing you to be, exactly as you are. To feel heard, seen, and accepted. It is one of the most nourishing experiences I have had, and to be met this way allows me to drop...
Working with reactivity
“You scared me!” “I got scared!” “A part of me got scared…” This progression happened in my head a couple of days ago, in the course of about five minutes. I was riding in the passenger seat while my husband drove. Something happened that sent a shot of adrenaline...
Boundary setting practice
Healthy boundaries – they are often spoken of as important, but what does that actually mean? As a child, I did not learn what a boundary is, let alone how to set one. This was all implicitly communicated, rarely explicit. Anger was generally not ok to express,...
How our parents can be with us, is how we can be with ourselves.
This is a quote from a podcast that explored the intersection of attachment, the nervous system, and the body, and was so accessible. The host, Tammy Sollenberger of The One Inside podcast, spoke with Anna Vincentz, IFS therapist about parenting and...
Right Action: The Dance between internal and external
How do you know what action to take? Most of us don’t really think much about it – we just act. However, the same behavior toward others can have very different energy, depending on the internal source. Let’s say you have a friend who invites you to join them at...
Befriending your inner critic
My inner critic has been one of my hardest working protectors, and I am grateful for their efforts. Perhaps that sentence makes you pause. There has been so much written about inner critics and how to tame them, control them, change them – the predominant frame...
What is the purpose of purpose?
I have always been focused on purpose – the purpose of a meeting, a project, a team activity, an organization, a role, a relationship, a person. Over the years I have found that asking the question, “What is the purpose of this thing that I am engaged with?” has been...
You can’t talk yourself into self-confidence
Many people have a part inside of them that feels like they don’t belong where they are – that they are not qualified, or good enough, or whatever, and worries that they will be discovered, found out, and rejected. This part can sap confidence and take up energy...
Wants and Needs
Do you know what you want? Do you know what you need? And do you know the difference? Over the course of my life, I have mostly not known what I wanted. Especially regarding everyday things, like food, drink, movement, clothes, sleep. When confronted with a choice...