How do you define success? Has it been given to you, or does it come from within?
This is the time of year when we tend to reflect on our journey and accomplishments, take stock of where we are, and set intentions for the coming year. For me, this has been a particularly important process – I have been reflecting not just on the past year, but on the past 30 years. After spending 30 years as an employee of others, I am now fully self-employed. Very little of my journey was what I expected at the beginning, or even hoped for. At times it was much better. Other times, much worse. Was I successful? Merriam-Webster defines success as a “favorable or desired outcome, also the attainment of wealth, favor or eminence.” By this definition, the answer is “maybe?” I achieved some of my desired outcomes, but actually very few. Wealth, favor, or eminence? The problem with these is that they are in the eye of the beholder, and therefore up for debate. I have realized that whether I have been successful in my career is the wrong question. There will never be a definitive answer. More importantly, my definition of success was given to me, inherited from family, internalized from cultural norms. Not internally meaningful.
More useful questions for me: Does it feel right? Does it energize me? Am I engaged? These questions I can answer clearly for myself. Looking back, I was energized and fully engaged much of my time working within organizations, and for that I count myself very fortunate. And when it did not feel right anymore, I sought to make a change. No regrets. A lot of learning. Beyond that, I let go of assessing whether I have been successful. That need comes from a part of me that looks externally for confirmation. I can notice that part, and understand it, but not let it be in driver’s seat. Instead, my intention is to have my work stay aligned with Self. I feel enormous gratitude that the work I do now feels right in my core, very energizing and fully engaging. I wish the same for you.
I end with one of my favorite quotes, from Howard Thurman: “Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive and go do it. Because what the world needs is more people who have come alive.”
