That is the voice that showed up this morning in my head. Uninvited. But there it was. A part of me is quite worried about what is going to happen next. What would be the consequences of the decision I made and the subsequent action I just took? This part jumped in and took over. I noticed a lot of anxious restless energy in my body, and a strong urge to do something. Another part contributed by working hard to figure out what to do. These two are partners, and feed off each other, amping each other up. I am grateful to them – they have served me well. Getting things done has helped me calm down in the past.
But my preference is to move from a calmer energy. When I react from a place of anxiety, the part that is afraid feels soothed, but its fear is also fed because it gets reinforced. This morning, when I said, “what have I done?” out loud, and then recognized my body sensations, I paused. It helped that someone who I feel safe with was there to be present with me and reflect what was happening. That was enough to create some distance between me and the part. To let it know that I knew it was there, and that I understood its concern. I know this part and what it is working to protect. I took a deep breath. I felt calmer. I was able to meet my anxious part with compassion. My urgency to act faded. I moved back to equilibrium – not by pushing the anxiety away but by welcoming it and meeting it with understanding, from Self. From this place, I can choose to act with intention, rather than unconsciously react. With space for all my parts, instead of having just one running the show.
This is what it’s like to cultivate a Self-to-parts relationship. If you are curious and want to learn me, I offer free consult calls.
